Jay Hawks/Moutain Hawks and other March 18, Midwest Conf. Games

In the March 18th match-up of the Kansas Jayhawks against the Lehigh Mountain Hawks, the Mountain Hawks have a distinct advantage of being a real animal.  However, I must resist the temptation of underestimating something simply because it does not exist.  Take, for example, The War of the Worlds radio broadcast, Steve Pribby Moots, and dinosaurs.  And also, because that deranged little bastard mascot of theirs looks like some cross between Heckel & Jeckel and the Chuckie doll from the Child's Play films, I am rather intimidated by it.  Perhaps it would lure the unassuming mountain hawk to it and then stab it in the neck with a straight razor.  And so, I'm picking Kansas over Lehigh.

A slightly more interesting match-up, I'd say, will be played earlier that evening, when the 8-seeded UNLV Rebels go up against 9-seeded Northern Iowa Panthers.  As you see, I'm sure, I like to illustrate my predictions, but to do that, I first need to settle on avatars for these two teams.  You may know the UNLV logo represents themselves with a Yosemite Sam-lookin rebel, but I prefer a more James Dean style rebel, so I'm crossing the two and representing UNLV with the cracked-out, bearded incarnation of Joaquin Phoenix.  As per the panthers, I have chosen to use the same image on the wikipedia page for Cougars a.k.a. Mountain Lions a.k.a Catamounts a.k.a. Panthers for every team in this tournament represented by a cougar, mountain lion, catamount, or panther.  And in the pairing of Joaquin Phoenix vs. a Cougar, I pick the cougar.

In the game of Aztecs vs. Volunteers, despite their gumption, strength in numbers, and access to various tools, I have to wager the Volunteers will be massacred by the angry Aztec gods, whose precise mathematical calculations have astonished mathematicians for years.

In the pairing of Georgetown and Ohio, my money is on the bobcats to nom up the hoya.

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