"'This teaching is not at all a judgment on women's abilities or rights. It says something about the specific role of the priest in Catholic understanding - which is to represent Jesus, to stand in his place,' argued Father Stephen Wang in a statement sent out by the Catholic Bishops Conference of England and Wales."
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/08/30/catholic-church-defends-male-only-priesthood/?hpt=T2
"It is clear to church scholars that Christ would not have been able to establish the church and its following without a penis," said Wang's colleague, Fr. Louis Cock. "And how could Christ have walked on water if His center of gravity was in His hips and not His shoulders? Also, I believe the miracle-working gene is found on the Y-chromosome."
"Christ is defined by His masculinity," Cock continued, "if He were alive today He would ride a motorcycle or chopper."
The stance of the church on this issue is supported by Bible scholars and historians alike. Catholic Church historian Fr. Anthony Flesh-Trombone said of the debate, "I mean, women were only briefly ordained Deacons in the church: it was really just a blip," referring to the 1,000-year period of female ordination. "Also, Jesus had Mary Magdalene hanging around and He never asked her to follow Him. Did He?"
"Did He?" Flesh-Trombone continued.
Youth minister and pastoral musician Brother Martin Lovepump also supports the decision. "Do we really want our Christian daughters raised under the impression they are capable of doing the same things men can do? Next thing you know, they'll be trying to excel in standardized testing and run 4 minute miles. We might as well let them play in the NFL."
The mouthpieces of the wolrd's oldest boy's club have spoken: no girls allowed. Flesh-Trombone summed up the church's stance. "If we had ordained women in the church, they'd make it really hard to cover up all the raped kids. And who wants that?"
No comments:
Post a Comment